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Edition 09

Me? An interiors accomplice…

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Thanks to Ideal Interiors magazine, the annual inspirational Interiors Expo and the changing industry writes Robert YAWE as he asks asks if you are taking any action to stop heinous crimes deliberately executed by some developers on the spree of killing the taste of interiors.

In a previous article in Ideal Interiors magazine, I declared that someone was intentionally eliminating our interior designers and by extension our interiors.

Those accused of the heinous crime continue to serially execute their mandate unabated by the suffering consumers of mediocre interiors. Fortunately all is not lost, yet.

Having realised that I was an accomplice to this crime, I decided to take action instead of just sitting back and watching the carnage to our interiors continue. Undoubtedly, the best place to start was with me.

To begin with I sorted out the issue of door swings in our home so as to provide the occupants with an increased level of privacy that they were not enjoying previously.  Next was the use of the available space, being a techie family, we have multiple computers strewn around the sitting and dining room placed on different assortment of tables acquired many years and carried across different houses.

So I took my tape measure and a few pieces of paper on which I sketched the solution for the worktops to place the various desktops and laptops.  Yet again my high school technical drafting and carpentry classes came handy.

Shape and finish

After doing the sketching, I went to PG Bison to buy the required materials which I was expecting to take to a “fundi” to shape and finish the pieces but to my utter surprise, I found out that PG had recently installed a CNC router.

For the uninitiated, a CNC is a computer numerical control system that takes in a cutting list on one end and a material at the other then proceeds to cut the material according to the cutting requirements.

It does the work often highly qualified “fundis” in a tenth of the time for a fifth of the cost.  The systems accuracy gives a very high level of finish and quality control is of the highest degree.

So in went my cutting requirements and the selected particleboard; and voila out came the perfectly cut pieces. All that remained was the impact edging to be fitted and I was off to mount the worktops.

Gang of artisans

This means that you no longer need a gang of artisans camped at your house for multiple weekends trying to fit in new kitchen doors or even the entire cabinet.  All you need is a good interior designer to take the measurements then you agree on the colours.

PG Bison will cut the parts apply the necessary edging and even drill the malpa hinge holes and if required you can also have the hinges fitted.  Therefore, all you will need is a carpenter with a screwdriver and within a few hours, you will have changed the doors on your kitchen cabinets and even the wardrobes in the bedroom.  All this will cost you at the most two Saturday mornings, maybe another one if you are ripping out the existing cabinets.

This means that instead of keeping on admiring your friends glass fronted kitchen cabinets you can replace yours with the same over the coming weekend or even go over board and replace the kitchen counter and tiles.

Let the buyer customize

With this kind of rapid installation, there is actually very little need for a developer to finish the kitchen or even the bedroom cabinets as the buyer can have their own cabinetry designed. Let the buyer customize and install in just a few days literally, before the ink dries on the purchase agreement.

We are past the days when you needed to plane the wood even and then stick on formica with glue. Today, your cabinets come pre-finished and with a little more attention to detail they can arrive pre-assembled making the completion a matter of minutes.

Roughening a.k.a. hacking

Tilling no longer requires roughening a.k.a. hacking of the surface on which they are to be placed and neither do you need to soak the tiles in water for hours.  The available tile fixing glues allow you to fit tiles in hours instead of days.

You can even fit new tiles onto existing tiles allowing you to replace those ugly tiles in your bathroom over the weekend without having to move house.  Ask yourself, why am I continuing to live in a stressfully finished house yet I can now comfortably replace the offending fixtures?

Informant Peter Marangi

Our great informant Mr. Peter Marangi can apply two coats of emulsion paint within the span of 6 hours and it will be ready to lean on, so to repaint your house in those lovely colours you have been admiring in the various magazines and the paint manufacturers colour charts is a weekend away.

Another simple thing that can radically change the ambience of your space – home or office – is lighting, you have hundreds of different fittings to choose from and installation in many cases is DIY.

For those who got mislead by the beautiful lighting in the show house just to find a single pendant in the middle of the rooms of the house you purchased can still fit side lighting.  You can do this by installing cornices with large cavities into which to place the wiring and even fit concealed lights or down lighters.

Know for the coup de grace, you can actually change the flooring in most of your house without moving out. Today, the only flooring that might require your temporary evacuation is solid wood parquet or wood blocks, which require sanding.   However, with a well-equipped contractor, this can still be done with minimal disruption over a long weekend.

Opportunity to personalize

Replacing that cold ceramic tile flooring with warm bamboo wood flooring or sensual thick carpeting no longer requires your extended absentia from the house as all can be fitted without the needed for strong smelling adhesives or varnishes.

With the advancements in installing finishes there is actually no justification for the developers to insist on finishing the houses to their personal taste thereby depriving the final owner from the opportunity to personalise the house.

What this means is that we can stop the continued murder of our interiors, all we need to do is take a stand on the delivery of semi-finished unit by the developers.  The additional 5 percent or less that you might need to spend to finish the house to your taste is worth every penny, with the alternative being a continued stress of looking at a kitchen every day and wishing you had not bought the unit.